A Poem Exploiting The Enrichment Of The English Language 

By The Addition of Norma Hebel's New Word: “Happyfied”

Though there's nothing in Niger, and no WMD's, 

No solders died because “Bush lied.”

And those who say so will be “bad-ified.”

By those who prefer to be “happyfied,”

Because we've all been newly “un-free-speech-ified,”

And it's “un-American” now to say, “he lied,”

'Cause we've hidden Jekyll, and signed on with Hyde,

So the American public can be “happyfied.”

Who cares if Africa sinks and worlds collide? 

Yes, there's a billion dollar train wreck on every side,

But our news is “balanced” nationwide.

We've lynched Saddam and lynched his bride,

And bailed out Lynch, and saved his pride,

So Wall Street can be balanced and “happyfied.”

And the Crash? That's ancient history, though worlds collide.

Yes, we're fat, and our food is over fried,

But America the beautiful is “happyfied.”

We'll just get a snip here and a nip there, and some “lipocide,”

And with a brand new waistline we'll be “happyfied.”

Who cares if the Balkans sink and worlds collide? 

Yes, we're drunk on Soma and dreamy eyed,

Yes we're drunk, we've been had, we've been “TV-ified.” 

So we're off to the mall to be “happyfied.”

So we're off like the first crazy days of Christmas-tide.

And though we're owned outright by needless things,

We think we own them, and are “happyfied.”

Though the Balkans sink and worlds collide.

Yes, full of Fox and Disney and “TV-eyed,”

We're off to shop and be “happyfied.”

And who are those “Balkanese” anyway?

If they won't sell us oil for our happy ride,

What do we care if their worlds collide?

And if China should shrug, and subdivide

And a billion immigrants rise with the tide,

What do we care, we're “happyfied,”

Though the oceans roil, and worlds collide? 

And our news is “balanced,” and bonafide

By Fox and Murdock so we're “happyfied.”

And our Soaps help us all to be “hypnofied.”

And our big screens render us “zombiefied,” 

And from the news increasingly stupefied.

So who cares if Africa sinks, and worlds collide?

And we've got freedom, freedom enough to share,

Though it feels to some like liberticide.

But our bombs are so devilishly “smart;“ 

They can easily distinguish and quickly decide, 

In a crowd filled market or colorful Bazaar,

Who is good Earnest and who is bad Clyde,

So, it's good old fashioned warfare, not infanticide.

And in our Christian Heaven anyway,

Though dead, they'll all be glorified!

So who cares what some raged weeping pilgrims think,

When worlds collide? 

And when “W” tells us we're on the “right” side,

That in Iraq we've “turned the tide,”

Though it's our own children who are “dead-ified,”

The news is good; the end has been spied!

So, we're more than happy, we're “happyfied.”

Though Baghdad's ancient cradle fall, 

And worlds collide.

And our schools are like Baghdad, and Fallujah besides,

Jungles of U.S. sponsored fratricide.

Nevertheless, they practice their sums, add and divide,

And subtract—those who came to school and died.

So the School Board is perfectly “happyfied.”

“Two plus two is four,” they'll say, 

“Whether counting oranges or crypts!”

And, if only two tenths pass the exit test, happily dull-eyed,

They'll just change it, modern testing being simplified,

Till with “0” plus attendance all are “pass-ified.”

For we've known long since that students, once “mass-ified,”

(Suckled on pap and “monkey-fied,” “Darwin-ied” 

Numbered, and “Dewey-fied,”)

Are far, far more easily “happyfied.”

And that Americans are good and kind, who would deny?

We protect all within our borders, earth and sky,

Why, our Constitution protects even a passer-by!

But if you've been “badified” by your neighbor standing hard by, 

Don't forget there's “rendition,”

And a foreign Gulag to “changify” his condition.

So, way out of sight, and far out of mind, 

We all remain, constitutionally, “happyfied.” 

And, though the purpose got lost, 

And the meaning crawled off 

Somewhere, and died,

“It's war you ninny!” They'll say, “Sometimes men are tortured,” 

When worlds collide.

And though into blissful oblivion we slide,

As long as we're blissfully ignorant-ified,

By schools and churches and by “media-cide,”

Who cares if freedom is liberticide,

And Africa sinks and worlds collide?

We've got our malls and our big screen TV’s! 

And we're happy, as long as we're “happyfied.” 

© Jay Warren Clark